Men don’t take relationship advice. Well, most of them don’t.
You can send all the blog posts and articles you want (to drop hints) and it will still go over their heads. Even memes get ignored. The truth is, they aren’t going to apply the techniques or principles in these posts unless it’s tied to something they really want, or are interested in (you know where this is going). They need incentive to do/be better. It’s pretty much human nature for this to be the case, so we won’t drag them for needing an incentive to improve. Here are a few ways you can motivate your guy to take the relationship advice he so desperately needs.
DON’T POSITION IT AS COUNSELING OR THERAPY
As soon as you say “counseling” most guys are going to freeze and/or reject the method. Nobody can tell them how to BE in their relationship. Positioning this as “exploring new techniques” and/or “getting an objective opinion” may help out a bit, but this method is probably the most rejected. Explain to him that it helps to have someone moderate new exercises in person (like a personal trainer). You can’t stretch yourself if you have no one to lean on in case you take on too much. (Decent example)
USE AN APPROACH THAT WON’T MAKE THEM FEEL TOO VULNERABLE
Counseling may make him feel “seen”, so if that doesn’t work… you may want to dial it back. Don’t ask assessment questions directly. Have him advise “someone else” on an issue that you have. Guys love GIVING advice and constructive criticism that doesn’t include them feeling too exposed emotionally. Later have him take his own advice. Most guys will give the best, most genuine advice when they don’t think it will be used against them. Make sure not to throw this in his face later. All progress will be lost.
MAKE HIM THINK IT’S HIS IDEA
You know what you want him to do AND you know his typical thought process. Combine the two and find a way to lead him down the path you want him to go. When you master getting him to “lead the charge”, you’ve got it. Eventually he’ll naturally be on the same page (hopefully).
CONNECT IT TO SOMETHING HE LOVES (BESIDES YOU)
Well of course he loves you, but that may not be the BEST incentive to get him to take relationship advice. What are his goals for the relationship? Tap into those and show him how taking the advice will get him closer to those goals. Warning: Don’t tie everything to sex. This is probably the worst bargaining chip ever. Connect it to sports or any other thing he may really enjoy.
It’s not easy getting him to catch a hint or even pay attention to the hint once it’s dropped. The trick is utilizing his interest levels to pivot to the advice you want him to follow. When done well, you can have meaningful conversations and make major advancements in your relationship. Just remember how to position things.
