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Esse D

When You Can't Resist The Urge to be Irrational With Him



*The following story may be based on actual events... BUT... I will neither confirm or deny.*

I lay in his lap watching Game of Thrones while he wriggles his fingers through my "naps" to massage my scalp. I make a pointedly sexual observation about Drogo and he defaults to lusting after Khaleesi. Instantly I'm annoyed. (I know, I know... unfair, but hear me out). Besides being a queen, her and I have NOTHING in common, and it's not the first time he's pined for someone that looks completely different from me. Does that mean he's not really attracted to me and just taking what he can get? ...because hell, although not perfect I'm something like a big deal. (In my head at least) With all that being said, I still can be fragile and over-analytical given the perfect storm of time and context. Welp... we'll call this storm a category 2 because now, I've jumped headlong into my analytics and I'm profiling every woman he's ever expressed interest in (compared to me of course). I know full well I'm going to end up questioning myself... but now I can't focus on "Tyrian and them" enough to break my laser focus on how I now think I'm not my boyfriend's type. And this is all because he gave me a taste of my own medicine in jest (or was it jest)? He probably DOES like women that look nothing like me! Another 5 minutes pass and, I can't take it. I sat up (to show I meant business).

"What's so sexy about Khaleesi?!" (I mean come on, it's Khaleesi, but I had to ask)...to which he replied,

"What's so sexy about Drogo?!"

The old Drogo-in-the-forefront trick, eh? I knew that would be his answer. I also knew I should have just ate the comment, but here I was and I had a point to make. The narcissist in me had formed her question.

"How is it that you're attracted to women that look nothing like me?"

He then produced a list of people that DO look like me that had been verified on his "attractive list" in past conversations. Foiled again... nice rebuttal young man. Good play.

I lay back down to pretend to watch the rest of the show (and try to get out of my head). I DID have a point though. Hmph!

Does anyone else let small things like this trigger your insecurity? I'm learning to combat it and get a good laugh off myself when I know I'm being ridiculous. I think it's fine to be triggered as long as we know how to find our way back out of it (and reach rational ground rather quickly). Share your irrational stories below or just feel free to bash me for being a brat. I'll take that too! 😉

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