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Esse D

Learning to be alone...



Tonight is actually a fitting night to address this issue that is common enough. I discussed this with a friend a while ago and was looking for a good time to write about it. Tonight seems right because so many people try to avoid being alone on Valentine's Day like it's some sort of plague. The people with this mentality are probably the same individuals that can't seem to avoid jumping into new relationships immediately after a break-up.

Don't get me wrong, I understand and I've heard the saying "the best way to get over your old man is to get under a new one". This isn't necessarily healthy, however. You don't give yourself time to heal from any hurt you may have experienced with your ex and could (and most likely will) take it into the new relationship. This will, in turn, damage the new relationships and keep you in a cycle jumping from person to person in hopes of finding the perfect person to fix you.

The key is self-repair. You have to know who you are and what you want in order to know if a person is right for you. Ever went shopping with no idea what you wanted? You ended up trying on EVERYTHING, right? It's the same with relationships. We don't want to get stuck in life's dressing room trying on item after item. We want to actually commit and make the purchase. Not only that, we want to be happy with the purchase and not have buyer's remorse.

Knowing ourselves is the best way to avoid "buyer's remorse" in our relationships. It also increases our chances of getting it right with someone deserving of our love. Take time, assess yourself and don't be afraid to be alone. Use your single time to envision what you want in a mate and start to embody those qualities yourself. The other important thing to do in this period is to love yourself. Loving yourself will remind you of your worth and decrease the chances of you accepting disrespect from your mate. It can be a win-win situation if executed correctly.

So, if you just ended a relationship, sit back and get to know yourself. It can be pretty beautiful and beneficial to your future happiness.


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