Name: H.T. Twitter: @517NightHawk Podcast: Lansing Anti-Hero https://t.co/aMHRSGVhOa
One of the things I often hear from women on social media that tend to fancy themselves "Woke" or "Feminist" is that Pick Mes tend to upset any and all progress towards helping black women become liberated. the problem is: not everybody wants the same thing.
See, what alot of women don't understand is that the reason society promotes people to get married and have kids is because stable marriages make for the right people to sell certain products to and kids being born is essential to keeping society advancing. no ones born, stuff doesn't get made or bought. simple as that. The problem is, this generation, in all it intellectualizing of the world and its societal flaws, has decided that it's better to push for a world that collectively exists in their heads than for a more equal and productive world. granted, a great deal of millennials due to economic station are not able to achieve the financial stability that society says they should have. And because so few have been able to achieve it, the idea has become that we as a society need to just burn it all down and rebuild society in the image of the paradigm that many millennials face.
One of those revolutions is gender roles. now, don't get me wrong, men do need to work on somethings, but frankly the things that men need to work on are more a matter of maturity than a societal ill really. However, Millennial men live in the time where "men are trash" because this generation found out out that, surprise, alot of men have done awful things. rather than rack it up to this is just how humanity is, men are expected to agree that men are in fact, awful people and inferior to women as men just in our heterosexuality and masculinity are toxic and need to be redeemed.
The problem with this logic is that to the men who have walked through life seeing both sides of the argument, you quickly realize that one side wants men to be less shitty people but realize that among ourselves, we are problematic and frankly trying to break all that down is pointless. the other side however wants men to be on social media in a perpetual state of shame for the sins of men's past. men are supposed to constantly agree with and not question any and all logic that a woman says as it relates to men. never-mind if the solution is mighty simple, no men are expected to wage constant war against IDEAS.
One of the places I saw this issue rear its ugly head was when Ayesha Curry made headlines for simply saying that she didn't understand why so many women want to dress half naked and that she herself prefers to "cover up". what should have just been a statement of ones opinion on their own style of dress exploded into an orgy of think pieces and threads on internalized patriarchy and women being sexually liberated. yes, because a woman in the modern age wants to show a bit of modesty, its got to be men shaming her into it and not a personal choice.
One of the reasons I feel that a great deal of this Laissez-Faire outlook on gender relations exists IS because nobody has much to lose these days. look around: Of the few men out here making money on a normal level, alot of women would write them off as "ashy" or "Corny" or "ugly" and hold out for a man who will adhere to their ideals. the problem is that I don't think they realize what those ideals look like to the average guy. see, I have no ill will towards women like Kim Kardashian or Amber Rose. If anything, Rose comes off as a very earnest in her views on the world, and I respect that much about her. However, speaking as a man, there is alot of shit that women today do that really isn't appealing to us but gets by BECAUSE its not popular with men and is labeled a revolutionary act against patriarchal men.
Among these things is women deciding to constantly be so constantly sexually immodest. From the way many women dress, to how they alter their body, to just how they carry themselves, many men how want to at some point find a wife in this generation have to wade through a sea of women being publicly explicit and obtuse to seem woke when all we want is a woman who will just be for us and us alone. alot of women do not understand that about men, but go as far as to say the mentality that leads men to want a woman who is just sexual for them is the same mentality that leads to women being killed and raped by partners. On a certain level, this is true, but its true in the way that many people own guns and people get shot, but there are FAR more people who own guns and never shoot anybody besides maybe a deer or a duck.
What women have to understand about men is that it really does get under a mans skin to be with a woman that he knows many other men have either had sex with or has essentially been masturbatory fodder for. don't get me wrong, no sane man in this day and age really expects his future wife to be a whole virgin anymore, but the reason so many men are pushing back against this whole "toxic masculinity" social campaign is because frankly it really is unnerving to realize that the standards for women are being watered down in the name of social justice to where men are expected to essentially just have no standards because we as a generation have pushed this narrative that its better to have the baddest chick in the room than to find love.
Pick mes come in because it brings back the fact that men shouldn't be pushed to essentially give up our standards in the name of any sort of political agenda. fact is men want a beautiful loving woman. we also don't want to have to walk around in public wondering how many men looking at you have been inside you or jerked off to you. its not even about a matter of STDs, its just that when ya'll say our "masculinity is so fragile" it's because we say no to wanting to fuck around with the girl everyone else fucked around with. this is why so many of the men who tend to share the ideals that men are trash and that masculinity is fragile tend to also have shitty self-confidence, which is likely why a great deal of these allies are either single or in relationships where clearly the wife isn't loyal to to just him sexually.
My point is this essentially: To get rid of pick mes quite literally represents to to the strong, entrenched in our convictions men out here that many women would rather be right than foster strong men. One day I hope you' ll realize that for every pick me you demonize, alot of ya'll will straight up praise women who cheat, lie and steal from other women. but what will be you your justification? men are trash. yes, enjoy your septum piercings, purple lipstick, and loads of sad men who will justify your logic because he lacks a back bone.
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Well said! I see both points. But remember, you don't have to agree, disagree, or agree to disagree with someone's opinion or POV. Have an open mind and carefully listen to their POV and it'll will help you understand why they have that POV. That's how you should respond to opinions vs. facts, especially in relationships. ☺
I disagree with the statement "men are suppose to constantly agree with and not question any and all logic". The man you describe above is one without "balls", one without grit, just weak! The way a pick mes woman decides to dress or carry herself is a matter of choice! The man that chooses to be with her--is a matter of choice! It is NOT a rebellious act against patriarchal men. You make a valid point about most men wanting a modest woman but the fact is they are bombarded daily with images of nakedness and the majority of them start to believe that this is the type of woman they have to have. But this is just an illusion. It's lust simply put. The question therefore becomes although there are a lot of pick mes running rampantly, what man is willing to to look pass the tip of the iceberg and go beyond the surface? What man is willing to go beyond appearances? What man is strong enough to fight modern day ideals of women being reduce to ass & tits? Many! Can't take away from the men & women choosing substance, building, honoring, & marrying! So yeah, there is a lot of pick mes but many are choosing love as revolutionary as it seems these days. All that other stuff is either an excuse or choice.